Tuna Casserole

Ok, now that this blog has given me the ability to post crap online I have one burning question I need to ask. No it’s not “how do we attain inner peace?” or “how do we stop world poverty”, It’s:

“What the hell is this tuna casserole thing and has anyone ever seen it before…?”

One of the first dates I had with my wife (back when she was worth dating), involved me popping round to her house for a home cooked meal. What was served up to me looked like it had already been eaten and hadn’t stayed down. I definitely feared that if I ate it it wouldn’t stay down.

But as I wanted to make a good impression (because I wasn’t getting any action from anywhere else), I shovelled it down and bugger me if it didn’t taste fantastic. It has been added to our regular meal list ever since then and has been refined over the years. Now there is no reason for it to taste good. The ingredients look like they should never meet under any circumstances and it’s appearance is off putting.

I’m going to place the recipe below and I would like others to give it a go and let me know if it is in fact as nice as I believe. There is good chance that the possibility of getting some ass may have influenced my opinion of the dish, so some unbiased comments would be appreciated. Here you go.

RECIPE:

425g can of tuna in oil
1 cup frozen mixed veges
440g can of whole peeled tomatoes
salt and pepper to taste
44og can cream of chicken soup
150g bag of cheese and onion potato chips (I’m not lying)
grated cheese (your choice of flavour)
parmesan cheese for taste (optional)

1. Take a microwave safe bowl big enough to hold all the ingredients. You are going to add the ingredients in order to create 2 layers. As bowls are curved it pays to split your ingredients to about 30/70, so you don’t end up with a thin top layer.

2. Whip the tops off your cans and dice up the tinned tomatoes. Time how long it takes before one squirt juice onto your shirt. Drain most of the oil from the tuna but don’t dry it out. Grimace at the slimy fingers you now have and muse over how long it will take to get rid of the oily tuna smell. Defreeze your frozen veg by running them under the hot top in a seive for a few seconds.

3. Wipe your hands clean in the tea-towel without washing them. Hang the towel back up for someone to use later. The wife really enjoys drying her hands on a slimy tuna oil towel.

4. Ok, now to layer. Fork the first portion of tuna into the bowl, you may have to break it up a little.

5. Shake on some of the mixed veges. Add a little salt. The salt can be a little hard to judge as the chips will already have salt added. So it is easy to end up with too much salt in the mix which leads to gagging and coughing up tuna through your nose so all you can smell is “old fishing boat” for the rest of the week. If you want to play it safe leave the salt out and add it to taste after dishing it up. This is slop so Gordon Ramsey is not going to yell at your for winging it.

6. Slap in some of the chopped tomatoes, add a bit of pepper.

7. This is where is starts getting weird. Scoop in some of the soup and spread it round till all the other stuff is evenly covered. It will no doubt mix a little with the tomato juice and start to look like some infected wound from a hospital reality TV program.. this is normal.

8. Weirder still. Pop open your bag of chips. If you were lucky enough to find a 190g bag then feel free to eat some. Toss some of the chips over the soup and pat them down lightly till its all covered. Add a few sprinkles of the cheeses of your choosing.

9. Repeat all the above. If you have gauged it right you should have 2 fairly even layers and no ingredients left. I like to add a fairly generous helping of cheese on the top which is why I am likely to have a heart attack before I’m 40.

10. Slap it in the microwave for 20 minutes on medium then bung it under the grill in the oven for a few minutes to crisp up the cheese till its nice and scabby looking.

11. Dish it up and amaze at the way it looks just like the stuff you find in the garden after a keg party. Now put on your brave face and dive on in.

12. Reply to this post! Let me know if it is good or bad and if you have ever come across it before. These questions need answers people!!